Why adults have affairs?
Chat about a loaded matter that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on since millennium. Extramarital affairs can be burdened with troubles, cause sadness, and other problems. In addition you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty thing, money, age difference, faith background, guilt, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating married women.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are women seeking an affair. I am conserned typically though it is just the human nature, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us escape the world for a brief period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody can switch the craving on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another human being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos culture has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but the public also. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is very good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your spouse or anyone else? You will need to reduce the danger you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest grouping, huge truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they are happy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to think about. Your finances are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be as a family besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An extra-marital affair sometimes solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage intact.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a frequent cause I fear. One or the other, usually the gentleman is sexually neglecting his woman for a number of reasons. As a man I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, could be compassion is vanished, maybe it is the closeness, could be neglect. Maybe we have just developed separately, our general concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.